Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson haven’t even confirmed their relationship yet, but insiders say they are already putting the wheels (and by wheels I mean sperm) in motion to have a baby together.

The UK News of the World reports that LiLo has asked one of her many ex’s to provide the “necessary, erm male input”.

A source close to the couple told me: “Lindsay is in a very happy place at the moment. She’s been having deep discussions about a baby. She wants a natural birth and has spoken to Sam about getting one of her ex-boyfriends to help out. They don’t want to adopt.”

Let’s hope they go the traditional route and get married first before they use some dirtbag to fertilize Lindsay so they can raise a messed up kid in L.A. Don’t get me wrong. I’m totally not against gay marriage and family..I’m against Lindsay Lohan marriage and family.

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Lindsay Lohan is fighting back against her father allegations that Samantha Ronson is enabling her alcohol addiction. In fact both of them have been slamming Michael Lohan in the ground on their blogs the past few days. Here is the most current rant from LiLo’s MySpace page.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

DRUG FREE
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Life

I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the camera man at x17.

Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael Lohan says he knows his daughter has fallen off the wagon. What’s more he says that Dina Lohan knows about it and Samantha Ronson is actually in on it.  Daddy Lohan says he is getting nowhere trying to talk to his ex-wife and he is going to confront Sam and Lindsay’s assistant about it personally. I think you just did Michael.

“Samantha drinks and passes the drinks under the table to Lindsay, and behind the scenes it gets worse and worse,” says Lohan. “Sam is using my daughter. My daughter isn’t working because she’s always with Sam. Even my ex-wife knows it. She just isn’t doing anything about it.”

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Turns out that Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson is not her first. Her jilted ex-Courtenay Semel told a British tabloid how LiLo dumped her for Sam shortly after completing rehab.

“Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart,” Courtenay told a pal. “At the time she was terrified her career would be over if she revealed her sexual tendencies. But then Samantha came on to the scene and I was dropped.”

Courtenay also dished on how Lindsay slept with countless men to try to convince herself she wasn’t gay before she sank into alcohol and drugs. You can read the entire tell-all article here. Courtenay better watch out. I believe that Sam could deliver a serious ass-kicking if the situation called for it.

If you didn’t believe that Linday Lohan and Samantha Ronson were serious about their relationship before, maybe this tidbit will convince you. Life & Style magazine says LiLo is so smitten with Sam that she is giving up membership to the Catholic church and joining God’s chosen people.

“Sam’s family is Jewish. Lindsay has learned a lot about Judaism from Sam and admires its beliefs.”

But another source says converting to Judaism is just another one of Lindsay whims.

“I doubt it. Two years ago it was kabbalah. Last year it was AA. She was into ‘peace’ for a while. Whatever is of the moment, that’s Lindsay. But the one thing it does show is her commitment to Sam. She could be any religion and Lindsay would be open to it.”

We hear that Lilo has already update her Facebook profile to let her friends know that she is converting.

Forget the private wedding ceremony, you know that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson mean business when they start getting matching tattoos. E! is reporting that LiLo and Samo have been photographed with identical tiny, black heart tats on their hands.

Lindsay’s is recycled from an ex-boyfriend Harry Morton, she just changed the color but Sam’s is brand-spankin’ new. Lindsay has also been seen with a new red star on her right hand, mirroring the ones that Sam has running down her right arm.

I’d like to say that ‘the couple that inks together, stays together’ but that’s just not true. (See Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee - Johnny Depp/Winona Ryder - Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards.)

Times have changed, kids. Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen used to fight over boys and tables at the hottest clubs, but now they are in a desperate battle over life coach Lori Cerasoli.

Lori Cerasoli has always been MK’s “go to” person when she is melt-down mode, and the recent Federal inquest into her role in helping Heath Ledger get un-prescribed OxyContin has troll-girl on edge. MK is said to be livid that Lori isn’t available to her right now because she is busy babysitting Lindsay Lohan.

Star magazine reports that the celebrity life coach has been counseling Lindsay through her recent battle with addiction. Dealing with LiLo and all her baggage doesn’t leave time for any other clients.

“Every time Mary-Kate wants to get hold of Lori, she feels like she’s with Lindsay. Mary-Kate called Lindsay and told her to get her own counselor. Lori can only work with one client at a time-and right now she’s with Lindsay, who has no intention of giving her up!”

News of the World is reporting that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are planning on exchanging marriage vows in a private ceremony later this year. It’s so serious that LiLo’s been shopping for a dress. Sources say that Lindsay is leaning toward wearing a white Chanel mini-dress and Sam will wear a tux and top hat. Ok. That’s (not) cool.

Lindsay’s mum Dina has told pals that she wants to “welcome Sam into the family” with a lavish do, including drinks and canapes for Li-Lo’s pals and relatives. Dina is still working on the date of the party but it’s looking like towards the end of the year.

“Lindsay’s new album Spirit In The Dark is out in November, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s around then. They’ve been keeping the relationship quiet for months and trying to pass each other off as ‘just good friends’.

“But they’ve decided it isn’t a fling, it’s for life- so they want to make their romance public.”